Remember Me
Nov. 15th, 2006 11:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nanonanoHere is my entry for today's ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
mini_nanowrimo. Spoilers for "The Return part 1".
I wanted to spend a lifetime here. I've already spent one. I've spent the last three years trying to unlock this city's secrets, but I've always been kept on the outside. Nothing prevented me from submitting to Carson's gene therapy, except the fear of failure. I was afraid Atlantis would reject me, just like she rejected Dr. Zelenka. She hasn't welcomed everyone equally. Why should I be any different?
Now I am forced to leave. We're not needed anymore. The Ancients I admired and revered have not lived up to the old stories. If anything, I can see how they could have created the Asurans and the Wraith. Worse, I can see the same willful arrogance in our experiments. Carson can create a completely different species with his retrovirus. Rodney can wipe out a solar system with the touch of a button. Are we that different than they are?
How will my tenure here be remembered? I know I tried my utmost to protect Atlantis. I would have given my life for this city. Does she know that? Does she understand all I did was for her? I know some of the things I did were less than admirable, even morally questionable. But I had to explore all the options. Perhaps in the end, I wasn't any different than those Ancients.
Atlantis will live on without me. I was a mere blip in her existence. What are three years compared to 10,000? I was just one of the many people who lived within her protection. In time, she'll have forgotten about the strangers who tried to make her home and defended her with our every fiber of our being.
I did try. I hope she remembers that.
mini_nanowrimo. Spoilers for "The Return part 1".I wanted to spend a lifetime here. I've already spent one. I've spent the last three years trying to unlock this city's secrets, but I've always been kept on the outside. Nothing prevented me from submitting to Carson's gene therapy, except the fear of failure. I was afraid Atlantis would reject me, just like she rejected Dr. Zelenka. She hasn't welcomed everyone equally. Why should I be any different?
Now I am forced to leave. We're not needed anymore. The Ancients I admired and revered have not lived up to the old stories. If anything, I can see how they could have created the Asurans and the Wraith. Worse, I can see the same willful arrogance in our experiments. Carson can create a completely different species with his retrovirus. Rodney can wipe out a solar system with the touch of a button. Are we that different than they are?
How will my tenure here be remembered? I know I tried my utmost to protect Atlantis. I would have given my life for this city. Does she know that? Does she understand all I did was for her? I know some of the things I did were less than admirable, even morally questionable. But I had to explore all the options. Perhaps in the end, I wasn't any different than those Ancients.
Atlantis will live on without me. I was a mere blip in her existence. What are three years compared to 10,000? I was just one of the many people who lived within her protection. In time, she'll have forgotten about the strangers who tried to make her home and defended her with our every fiber of our being.
I did try. I hope she remembers that.
